Selasa, 24 Maret 2015
My name is Efa
Yanti. You can call me Efa. I was born in cool city named Wonosobo. I’m about
19th years old. I have small body. About my character, I am a person
who like a humor, so I want to make my friend feel happiness. Now, I am
studying at Semarang State University and take accounting departement. I hope I
can graduate from this University on time is about maximal in 8th
semester with the great grade point average.
1.
Hello guys, my name is Efa Yanti. I have
a lot of dreams. When I was child, my dreams was to be a police woman. I want
to be a police woman, because of that I could help some people to felt safer
and more comfortable when they were walking out, but I didn’t have tall and big
body. Sometimes, I want to be a teacher, a doctor, and the other interesting
dreams. However, I have grown up. When I studied at Vocational High School and
took accounting, start from here I want to be a public accountant. So, in
Semarang State University I also take an accounting department to reach my
wonderful dreams.
2. If
I have to choose between being a businessman or public civil servant, I prefer
businessman to public civil servant. After I graduate from this University, I
want to work in Bank Indonesia or in big company in Indonesia such as
Sidomuncul, Pertamina, Unilever, and etc. I want to be a financial manager
there. I choose the job because it gives me challenge and good salary. After I
work for 3-4 years, I wlill have a lot of money. Then, I will resign my job and
start a business. I will open the boutique. After I run my business, I want to
marry with the architect or businessman with handsome, good looking, and
religious person. I will start to have family and have two children. I will
live in a big house is located in Wonosobo with a comfort place, a mosque, and
park beside my house. The last, I and my husband want to take our parents to
Makkah for Hajji. I think that’s all I can say about my dreams. To reach my
dreams come true, I must study hard, be different, be the best, keep spirit,
and always remember Allah.
Hi Efa, let me give you some corrections about your work :) I think there are many articles (a, an, the) missing in your last paragraph. Then, there are many articles that don't suitable with the following noun. Please give me your feedback and correct me if I am wrong.
BalasHapus1. Eva should be for this sentence " I’m about 19th years old " , like this " I am 19 years old., do you agree?
BalasHapus2. " About my character", "about" a better word .
3. error correcting writing "wlill" - "will"
4. After I work for 3-4 years,(and) I (will) have a lot of money. Then, I will resign my job and start a business (Then, I will resign from my job and will start a business with my salary).
5. . "I will start to have family and have two children" there is a "will" and "have" word, it's better just "I have two children"
Sorry eva the correction a lot, we learn together, remind me if I am wrong comment. thanks eva
@eka_Oke Eka, I know what you mean. Thank you for your corrections. I will revise my project carefully.
BalasHapus@Novita_Thanks Nop, but I don't agree with your comment "Eva should be for this sentence " I’m about 19th years old " , like this " I am 19 years old", because my age less than 19th years old. When my age was 19th years old, I will used "I am 19th years old. I'm so sorry Novita :)